The fallen day.

                I felt the inexplicable urge to scream as loud as I could, although I would much prefer to just continue laying there, staring at the ceiling. It wasn't my choice per say. Don’t get me wrong, I often found that I could always lock all my feelings in a box and stop them from wandering around. No peeking. No trespassing. But I did know that someday I would have to release myself from all the chains. Freedom was indeed needed.

My voice came out shattered, mainly due to my endless sorrowing with my thoughts. I didn’t stop, though. I had to catch a huge breath each time I screamed. My lungs nearly collapsed, as I became exhausted and finally stopped. I have never done that before. And I still don’t know why that urge popped up so suddenly, but I’m glad it did. It might have been a sudden, yet expected loneliness.

                There, facing the wall of my bedroom, the clock ticked as slow as possible. I didn’t complain, as I needed that break. I needed that gap of hours. Alone, I realized all the humongous situations I’ve lived and asked myself how was I even there, after what I’ve been through. Each step forward I took felt two steps back. Every time I felt fulfilled, I was actually never been more lost. Was I destined to live with such pain? Was this supposed to happen from time to time?

                I punched the wall. Again. And again. The bruises were starting to form, since I didn’t lower my strength. I couldn’t care any less to my hand. Each impact it felt oddly accomplishing. Anger intervene and was now in full control of my body. I felt the pain wading through my fingers, but it just made me punch harder. I needed to feel something. To be punished. To finally understand that my choices can and will have consequences. And that life wasn’t all just smiles and being happy. We, humans, need the difficulties. We need the rollercoaster that is life. In order to succeed, we would need to fail. To fall. To meet our darkest self. To let him take control. To make us see the obscurity that resides inside us, gasping for a room to take place.