Dear Sam.,
I have always had a thing for young and old
moons. Today, watching it from the not so big window in my room, I still stand
by that.
It is exactly forty-seven days since I have
left our town and said goodbye to you (or should I say a "see you
soon"?). It has been a daily struggle to wake up every morning and not
being able to see your face right in front me. Don't get me wrong, I do have a
picture of you that I carry wherever I go, and we do mail each other in a
regular basis (although sometimes it gets delayed), but I would rather spend
every minute I have with you, even if we were just staring at each other's
eyes. Nonetheless, I think when this test gets over, we will leave much
stronger than we were a few months ago. That's what I hold on to whenever I
realize your absence.
I miss your cheeks. Yes, you heard me right.
I miss those damn cheeks. I miss the way they quill every time you give me one
of the Sam's smiles. I didn't know there could exist such perfection. Do you
know how long it took me to fall in love with you? Seven seconds. I counted it.
Seven seconds. The first time I saw you (and you should remember that neither
of us had never seen each other face to face), you came walking towards me, as
soon as you spotted me. You may think I was not looking at you, since I was staring
at the other side (it was just an attempt to be cooler). But I was. The second
you turned your head and sighted me, I froze. I couldn't move at all. My neck,
my arms, my legs. All of them were paralyzed. And the reason is pretty simple.
As soon as you turned your head towards me, everything (I swear) went slow-motion.
Frame by frame, you started to form a glimpse of a smile. I am not trying to be
dramatic or exaggerate the story (although I usually do this). For six straight
seconds, I watched your mouth become from just a curious lip, seeking for
something, to one of the World's Seven Wonders. On the seventh second, you performed
a full smile. It wasn't slow-motion anymore. I stopped time. I stayed there and
just looked at you, amazed. It was not easy to stop time, it isn’t something
you do every day, but I needed to. I could not let that moment slip away so quickly.
I had to enjoy every single second of it and I wasn’t planning on returning to
reality any time soon. I took innumerous photos with my mind of that moment.
The seventh second. I tend to go by them in days like this, when I am far away
from you. Despite spending so many hours remembering and reviewing your smile,
I still have no words to describe any of it. And I don't think I will ever
have. However, what I can say is this: I am honored to be able to see all of
your grins (or even your smile when you are mad at me). You made me the
luckiest person in the world for having the privilege of having them all for
myself.
Hey,
there is no need to cry. I know I can be a helpless romantic sometimes, but you
shouldn't be crying. Or half crying and laughing, as now. Just give me one of
those Sam's smiles. Yes, I know I can't see you right now (or maybe I am
everywhere), but I like to know that somewhere around the world, you are
smiling. In my imagination, you are waiting lying on your side, with your hands
between your thighs and a smile. And this is all I need to get through the day.
One
of the benefits of being a high-ranking officer is that I have a room just for
myself. It is not a luxury hotel room or anything, but it is nice to have some
privacy around here. I even placed a picture of us right over my bed. It keeps
me safe during our staying. And the room has an AC, which helps a lot in these
tropical nights. It is an outstanding feeling to be able to sleep fully covered
with blankets. Despite having the bed just for myself, I can't help but sleep
with my back against the wall, as if you were right there, stealing all the
room I get of the bed. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something
(that you are an overly spacious person). I can also see the moon through the
room window from here, when it is around two a.m. It often makes me think of
you. Don't even ask me why. But, if you do, I would say that even if we are
thousands of miles away from each other, you still see the same moon that I
see, right across the globe. It is stupid, I know. Hey, don't be mean to me,
you were crying just now.
I
hope everything’s ok over there, I haven't heard from you in a couple days.
Although I am sure it's just the mail getting delayed again. I cannot wait to
see you again. I wish I could skip time too. Or not. Maybe this gap will just
make me more utterly mad in love with you.
Will
you make dinner for me? Just don't overcook the rice as you did last time, I
will be really hungry when I get there. Okay, okay. When I get home, we decide
something. But please, no vegetarian menu, since you have gone to the dark
side. Don't worry, I will rescue you.
Sincerly yours,
V.
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