terça-feira, 27 de janeiro de 2015

Monólogo de madrugada.

“Hello?”
“Hey.”
“Oh, it’s you.”
“So you still remember my voice?”
“It isn’t like we haven’t talked in years.”
He was right. Their last conversation was only a couple of months ago. Since then, not a single word.
“I know.”
“It’s nice to see that at least one part of you didn’t change, though.”
“Well, you know me. Drama was always my thing.”
“For both of us. Anyway. What’s up with the call?”
Indeed. Both were terrific actors. She could cry in front of anyone. He could lie and have no remorse at all.
“I didn’t actually had something to talk about when I dialed your number.”
She was lying.
“I think neither of us are worth calling for anymore.”
He wasn’t.
“I guess I just wanted to hear your voice?”
“I’m not buying that. You can’t just leave my life, again, and out of nowhere say you wanted to hear my voice.”
“It’s not like that. You have to understand, you are a big part of my life.”
“And you are a big part of mine. But I didn’t run away for the nearest person, like you did.”
Ouch.
“You know that I stayed for as long as I could.”
That's true.
“Good for you.”
Dear reader, he wasn’t like this. I promise.
“Why do you have to be so rude? Like, can’t you just be a little friendly after everything?”
“I’m sorry, but we can’t be friends.”
Also true.
“You said you wanted to.”
He did, but things changed. They both changed.
“I was wrong. I couldn’t be more wrong. Still, you are a little late for that.”
“And that’s it? I’m out of your life forever?”
“I tried to be your friend, I swear. But I couldn’t bare all the thoughts going through my mind. It was too much for me to handle.”
After the breakup, he lost the sight of what he was aiming for. All the plans, dreams, everything was just shattered in front of him. As you can imagine, it wasn’t pretty. He failed most of his classes. Nothing was ever tasty enough for him to eat. He isolated himself from all of his friends, despite needing them the most. He spent most of the days on bed, waiting for something that would never come back.
“What do you mean? You said yourself you didn’t love me.”
“That’s a lie. I never said that. The only thing said is that I didn’t know how to express myself. It felt like everything I ever did wasn’t true.”
It was complicated. He loved her. He loved how he felt so prized around her, as if he was irreplaceable. However, since his first breakup, he didn’t have the confidence to tell this anymore. It was something beyond his comprehension. A flaw.
“And what do you expect me to get from this?”
“Nothing.”
“Four years for nothing?”
Actually, three and eleven months.
“Why are you even bringing this? Our relationship didn’t work and, to be honest, not all memories are worth remembering. But we had our moments. Happy ones. I loved your spread sleep by my side and I always closed my eyes peacefully. There are supposed to have history mentions on such massive fights like ours.”
“I’m sorry I left you, but I needed to. I felt trapped in our relationship. I couldn’t keep up waking up every day and not being able to remember the reason why I was with you.”
“And that’s fine. You aren’t supposed to be in a relationship that you don’t want to.”
“But I wanted to. I really did.”
“It’s all in the past now. What is done, is done. We can’t go back to the people we used to be, even if we tried. We changed. And that’s a good thing. But we just aren’t mean to be together.”
“But-”
“Look, I have to go.”
He didn’t.
“…”
“If you want talk somewhere else, that’s okay. Anything but here. You know I hate phones.”
“I do.”
She did.

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